There’s a very common belief in the weight loss journey: to change your body, you must first fix yourself.
- Fix laziness.
- Fix lack of discipline.
- Fix unhealthy eating habits.
Therefore, each time you start again, you enter that journey with a rather stressful mindset. It’s as if your body is a problem that needs fixing, a flawed project. And each time you fail, you believe you need to fix even more.
But what few people realize is: the more you see yourself as something that needs fixing, the more insecure your nervous system feels. And in that state, sustainable change is very difficult to achieve.
Why does the “fixing yourself” mindset make weight loss harder?
Weight loss isn’t just a physiological matter. It’s also a fundamental psychological state that you carry with you every day.
When you see yourself as the problem
If every look in the mirror is accompanied by judgment, if every time you overeat a little you feel guilty, your body will be constantly in a state of mild but prolonged tension. That’s not positive motivation. That’s pressure.
Self-criticism might sound like a way to motivate yourself to improve. But biologically, it’s still interpreted by the brain as a threat signal. And when there’s a threat, the body prioritizes defense.
The tighter you squeeze, the easier it is to backfire
When you try to control yourself too much (such as drastically cutting back, overtraining, setting perfect standards), you’re putting your nervous system on high alert. In the short term, you might see results. But in the long term, the accumulated stress will find a way to break free.
- That’s when nighttime snacking occurs.
- That’s when “letting go” happens.
- That’s when you get tired of your own plan.
The problem isn’t a lack of determination. The problem is that the system is based on internal conflict, not cooperation.
What happens when you stop “correcting yourself”?
Stopping self-correction doesn’t mean giving up. It means stopping viewing your body as an enemy.
When the body is no longer treated as an object to be controlled
When you begin to see your body as a biological system trying to adapt, you’ll be more curious instead of judgmental. You’ll ask, “What’s making me eat so much in the evening?” instead of “Why am I so weak?”
Just this shift in questioning calms the nervous system.
And when the nervous system calms, behaviors become more stable. You no longer fight yourself every day. You design a more suitable environment. You go to bed earlier. You eat more regularly. You exercise as a form of care, not punishment.
Acceptance creates a safe foundation for change
There’s a paradox: the body is most receptive to change when it no longer feels pressured to do so.
When you stop telling yourself, “I’m not good enough until I lose weight,” the underlying pressure decreases. And it is in this less-pressured environment that small, repeated adjustments have a chance of lasting impact.
Weight loss then ceases to be a project of fixing mistakes. It becomes the result of a more stable living system.
The new approach: Cooperation instead of control
If you’re not going to change yourself, where do you begin?
Start by building a rhythm your body can trust.
- Eat enough before you think about eating less.
- Sleep enough before you think about exercising more.
- Stability before optimization.
When the physiological and emotional foundation is strengthened, adjusting calories or increasing activity will no longer be a shock. It’s simply the natural next step.
You don’t need to become a different version of yourself to deserve a lighter body, and you just need to create an environment where your body feels safe to change.
Conclusion
We’re taught that change begins with recognizing flaws and correcting them. But with the body, sometimes the most effective path begins with stopping the fight.
When you stop seeing yourself as a problem to be fixed, the underlying pressure decreases. When the pressure decreases, the nervous system calms down. When the nervous system calms down, the body no longer has to defend itself.
The most effective weight loss doesn’t happen when you try to become someone else. It happens when you stop trying to fix yourself and start cooperating with your body.
And when that cooperation lasts long enough, change will come as a consequence, not a fight.
The most effective weight loss doesn’t happen when you try to become someone else. It happens when you stop trying to fix yourself and start cooperating with your body.
